Why Biblical Encouragement Isn’t Enough

I work with a number of Christian marriages. It is not uncommon to come across this scenario:

Husband (struggling to be vulnerable): Such-and-such bad thing is happening to me. I’m feeling discouraged.

Wife (well-intentioned): Well, the Bible says that God is love and God is good so you don’t need to get discouraged.

Husband (downcast and now alienated): Yeah, you’re right.

This scenario can just as easily occur between parents and children, Christian friends, etc. Well-meaning Christians respond to their loved ones with a biblical truth. Rather than crawling down into the pit with their struggling loved one, they throw a rope down into the pit, hoping their loved one can crawl out.

I think we can learn something from God’s approach as He was saving the Hebrews from their oppressors in Egypt. Exodus 3:7-8 says:

7 Then the Lord said, “I have surely seen the affliction of my people who are in Egypt and have heard their cry because of their taskmasters. I know their sufferings, 8 and I have come down to deliver them out of the hand of the Egyptians and to bring them up out of that land to a good and broad land, a land flowing with milk and honey, to the place of the Canaanites…

In this passage, what does the Lord describe Himself doing prior to delivering His people? Check it out - the Lord does two actions.

First, the Lord says He saw their affliction. And second, He heard their cry.

Before He delivered, the Lord saw and heard. His heart grieved with His people. He allowed Himself to be moved by their affliction. He was not a callous doctor in a white lab coat who kept His distance and touched them only with sanitized instruments. The Lord saw and heard His people’s pain in such an intimate way that He could say “I know their sufferings.” Then, He delivered.

I think we should follow the Lord’s example in seeing and hearing our loved ones in their emotional pain, before we rush into a Biblical answer. We can climb down into their pit with them, empathize, and so communicate how much we care, before leaping into problem solving.